


Ease Your Mind

by walkalittleline



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Fjorclay Week 2020, M/M, fjorclay week, paladin Cad/cleric of Uk’otoa Fjord
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-24
Updated: 2020-04-24
Packaged: 2021-03-02 02:15:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 897
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23827471
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/walkalittleline/pseuds/walkalittleline
Summary: Day 4: Class Swap
Relationships: Caduceus Clay/Fjord
Comments: 6
Kudos: 57





	Ease Your Mind

Caduceus’ ears perk up automatically at the sound of soft footfalls in the grass behind him. He smiles but doesn’t open his eyes, keeping his posture straight and his hands resting on his crossed legs. 

“Fjord,” he says simply as he hears the other man pause a few steps behind him.

He hears Fjord breathe out a disbelieving laugh.

“How do you do that?” he says in that drawling accent that Caduceus knows is fake. He’s not about to bring it up, though. In his own time.

Caduceus smiles again and opens his eyes at last to look back at him, seeing the uncertainty in the way he holds himself, the faux sense of bravado he wears like a mask. Caduceus counts himself lucky to have seen behind that mask a few times. He’s been patient, letting Fjord open up and come to him like a timid, injured animal. He’ll offer what comfort and company he can and Fjord will come when he’s ready.

“I know the sound of your footsteps,” Caduceus says with a shrug.

“Can I… join you?” Fjord says hesitantly.

“By all means,” Caduceus replies, gesturing to the spot in the grass next to him and shifting his sword aside so Fjord can sit.

He suppresses a smile when he sees Fjord struggle to contort his limbs in the same position he’s in. They sit in shared silence for a minute or two, Caduceus enjoying the calm, grey stillness that comes just before dawn, the grass damp with dew under him. The air is cool here in Xhorhas, a dry chill that settles into his bones. He misses the green of his forest, the lush trees and gardens around his home. But She has followed him from the Grove and shown Her beauty in new ways and he has learned to love that just as much.

“Caduceus?”

“Hm?”

“Can I ask you something?”

Caduceus opens his eyes again to peer over at Fjord, smiling in invitation for Fjord to continue. Fjord fidgets, frowning, for a moment before speaking again.

“When you… talk to your Goddess. To the, um, the…”

“Wildmother,” Caduceus supplies.

Fjord nods.

“Yes, her… when you talk to her does she… talk back?”

Caduceus hums thoughtfully at the question, gazing across the hazy field that spreads out around them, the gnarled and unfamiliar trees that manage to take root in the unforgiving, rocky soil.

“In Her own way,” he says at last. “Sometimes not in so many words. But in everything around us.” He makes a sweeping gesture with his hand, pausing with a smile as he plucks a small, delicate and lone pink flower from the grass to tuck into his long braid.

“Right,” Fjord mutters. He gnaws on his lower lip. “Does she tell you to do things?”

“Of course,” Caduceus says with a nod. “Again, maybe not… direct orders. But I know what She would have me do to serve her and protect all that She is.”

Fjord’s brow furrows, his eyes fixed on his hands.

“Does she… punish you?” he says. “For not doing what she says?”

Caduceus feels an ache in his chest and resists the urge to lay his hand comfortingly on Fjord’s where they’re resting in his lap. Baby steps.

“No,” he says. “Though I don’t believe she would ask things of me that I would not want to do. Or that I would think are wrong.”

Fjord falls silent, bottom lip still tucked between his teeth. His tusks are starting to poke up through his lips, blunt and chipped but growing nevertheless. They suit him.

“I don’t like healing people,” he says, still looking down. “Every time I do they say it doesn’t feel right. It doesn’t feel… good.” He smiles, strained and humorless. “Beau says it just makes her cold.” He looks up at Caduceus at last. “The first time you healed me, all I could think about was how warm it felt. It didn’t feel _wrong_. Not even Jester… but she doesn’t really like healing either. I don’t think it’s for the same reason, though, I think she just thinks it’s boring.” He sighs, rubbing tiredly at his eyes. Caduceus has noticed he hasn’t been sleeping much lately. “I don’t know if it’s you or _Her_ but… it’s nice. I think it’s what made me realize there’s something wrong with me.”

“Fjord,” Caduceus says gently, this time not stopping himself from resting his hand on Fjord’s shoulder. “There’s nothing wrong with you. If you draw water from a poisoned well, it’s not the bucket’s fault if you get sick. You know that it’s not you, don’t you?”

Fjord hesitates. Then shrugs.

“I should wake the others,” he says and Caduceus can practically feel the wall rising around him again as he pushes himself to his feet.

“I’ll help you,” Caduceus says, standing and carefully sheathing his sword. “They’ll be wanting breakfast.”

They begin the short walk back towards Caleb’s bubble together in silence until Fjord stops him with a hand on his arm before they duck inside.

“Could I join you again?” he says. “Next time you pray?”

“Of course,” Caduceus replies with a wide smile. “You’re always welcome.”

Fjord nods stiffly and gives his arm an awkward pat before slipping into the bubble. Caduceus smiles, lightly touching the polished symbol on his belt and muttering a thanks before following after him.


End file.
